- Identify how you experience anxiety now: (see example below)
- Identify how you’d like to experience yourself (see example below)
- End result imagery: close your eyes and imagine things as you want them according to your own the description
This is from someone who experiences anxiety in social situation
1. My current experience: I’m withdrawn, cling close to wall, my eyes dart quickly around the room. When I do interact, I always ask questions and keep them talking so that I don’t have to. If they ask me about myself,I can’t think of anything.
I enjoy my own company because I’m okay with myself. So I like to do things alone. I perceive others as having expectations about how I should dress and I’m never sure about clothes. Also, I’m only physically and emotionally comfortable in casual clothes. In social situations dressier clothes are usually expected.
Also, I’m expected to chit chat and make small talk. I’m not good at that. There is no outcome and that bothers me. It’s just about aimless talking not about a goal. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. With a goal, I know what to do.I’m usually able to pull it off. No one sees me as failing because I know how to fake it. I know how to just get through it. But there’s no enjoyment for me. I guess success would be if I enjoyed it. I get through it without joy
I’m looking at my face and seeing the tension. (she is describing dissociation)
I feel stuck like I can’t move. I can’t go from one thing to another. I can’t talk to someone then get up and get a drink then talk to someone else. If I am talking to someone, I feel frozen in that place.
2. How I’d like to experience myself in the situation
Talking comfortably with one person, sitting in a chair, face muscles relaxed. I guess success would be if I enjoyed it.
I’d know what to do and say. Or I wouldn’t care and just do and say what ever came to mind. .The conversation would go back and forth instead of me asking questions about her.
I’d look forward to it. I’d enjoy getting to know a person or two. I could talk about myself as well as listen to them. I’d like to talk about myself without self-consciousness….to believe they care at all about what I have to say.I’d like not to have to keep them talking so I don’t have to talk about myself.
I’d feel ease in moving around the room and changing my focus of attention. Maybe from one person to another. Or from one activity to another. I would feel open to having someone approach me instead of having to be in control of choosing someone to talk to.
3. Close your eyes and either picture yourself or use self-talk to imagine the above.
Be sure to listen to the free self-hypnosis audio-video. Go to www.DrNikkiGoldman.com register. (No credit card needed. No obligation for anything ever) Enjoy!
I hear it all the time….Well it was your choice to drink that beer or eat that junk food. If it’s really a choice, why would you indulge since it goes against the thing you really want? You know these substances are poisons that are killing your body? You want to be healthy or slim or a non-drinker or whatever the case may be.
The truth is, most decisions are made below the level of awareness.Subliminal messages we hear and see throughout life are responsible for beliefs. It is those beliefs that determine our attitude, perspective and ultimately our behavior.
Here are 3 simple steps to truly change a habit.
- Admit that it is more than just a habit. It is unconscious decision you need to change
- Create a strong motivation or desire for the result. A strong motivation needs to benefit you. Word it in a way that gives you the benefit not someone else. Weak motivation: My wife is always mad at me because I drink. It will make her happy if I stop. Strong motivation: I will enjoy my family more.
- Condition the unconscious mind with mental rehearsal- Choose one situation in which the habit is deeply ingrained. Now close your eyes and visualize it the way you would like it to be. For example: Let’s say you always drink to relax after work. Imagine instead, that you come home from work and listen to a relaxing self-hypnosis recording. After the 15 minute relaxation, the desire to drink is gone. You get up and get on with your evening. Repeat this once or twice per day until it becomes your reality. Then choose an other situation to revamp.
You may enjoy my free self-hypnosis recording on my website. Go to http://www.drnikkigoldman.com and sign up.
I’d love to hear about your success. email me with your story. DrNikki@DrNikkiGoldman.com
Until next time….
Find Out About Free Membership Here
A book review of Choices and Illusions by Eldon Taylor
With life stories and proven science, Eldon Taylor takes us through an empowering journey. If you believe you choose your life, you are simultaneously mistaken and correct. Throw in some philosophy and you have his book Choices and Illusions, Taylor explains how subliminal messages we hear and see throughout life are responsible for beliefs. It is those beliefs that determine our behavior, attitude and perspective. When an event occurs which effects our emotions, a belief results.
For example, if, as a youngster, no one was home when you returned from school, you may have felt scared and unsafe. You might develop a belief that you must take care of yourself because no one is dependable. Out of this belief, as an adult, you may thwart attempts from others to help you in anyway. You believe they aren’t there for you and you behave in a way to prove your truth. Thus the Illusion of choice. Is he saying we are destined to be victims of our past conditioning?
Not at all. Here is where Taylor shows you how to create choice. He explains how you can take the very same mechanism; learning that takes place below the level of awareness, and condition yourself the way you want to believe and behave. He calls this his “InnerTalk” program. This is his version of subliminal messaging.
If you are familiar with the movie, “The Secret” and the accompanying philosophy, ‘The law of attraction’, Choices and Illusions will enhance your understanding. In addition, it will enable you to decide what you want to attract, and show you how to create the supporting belief.
If this is your first introduction to this type of thinking, hold on to your hat because you are in for a great ride. Taylor doesn’t just give you the information and leave you to your own devices. The book comes with a CD already programmed with self improvement subliminal messages.
If you are looking for a path in which to carve out your future, this is an excellent tool.
Nikki Goldman Ph.D. is a clinical hypnotherapist in private practice. She offers a free self-hypnosis audio program which you can listen to anytime of the day or night. Go to
www.DrNikkiGoldman.com and register.
Is Alcohol adding Joy or Junk to your Life?
(Also listen to podcast: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thrivetalkradio/2013/05/27/does-your-drinking-drugs-add-joy-or-junk-to-your-life)
For many people who want to stop drinking, Alcoholics Anonymous seems like the only option. However, there is new innovative thinking. It is possible to change from feeling powerless over alcohol to becoming someone for whom alcohol is a thing of their past. Something they used to do but don’t anymore: Someone who is happy and at peace as a non-drinker.
IMPORTANT NOTE: If you are successful with AA, please continue. I am not here to degrade anything that works for you. I am simply offering an alternative to those for whom AA has not worked.
With current brain imaging techniques and new understandings of how the brain works, we are able to affect the mental capacity in profound ways. However, if you are an truly an alcoholic physiologically as well as psychologically, moderation in drinking may be unrealistic. Although I do know some who have accomplished this, the best way to be a peaceful non-drinker is to put ALL alcohol in your past and leave it there.
Herein lies the difference between the belief of struggle and what can be done today.
1. , You don’t have to quit all at once. The first step is to do less harm. If that means
one less beer or glass of wine tonight…then that’s a good start.
2. With Neuro-linguistic Programming and Hypnotherapy, you can change your belief system. and eliminate the cravings.
Beliefs create neural pathways in your brain. So too do cravings. The neural pathways of alcohol have created ‘pleasure center’
.It works like this. These neural pathways are like a groove in the dirt. If you take a wheelbarrow from the garage to the garden everyday, it will form a groove. Each time you take the wheelbarrow out, if it is anywhere near the original groove, it will fall in. Imagine the difference when you fill the groove with dirt, move the wheelbarrow over and form a new and better groove: One that gives you a new ‘pleasure center’. Once you create this new pleasure center in your brain, you can choose that instead of the alcohol. This is what Neuro Linguistic Programming and Hypnotherapy can help you do.
3. Some programs continues to reinforce the “struggle” My program takes a more positive approach.
I witnessed this distress during the holidays. Twelve-Step members continued to talk about how difficult the upcoming season would be. Alcohol would be everywhere. They’d have to go to many more meetings in order to “get through” this problematic time. Again I remind you, if this has worked to help you, please continue. I am suggesting, however, there is a more positive approach.
You can be happy and at peace as a non-drinker. Drinking is just a thing of your past. Something you needn’t bother with any more. You are confident and strong as a non-drinker. You have excellent coping skills that help you through life’s troubles. These coping skills are better and more effective than alcohol ever was.
Next week, I will explain in more detail how you can accomplish this.
Until then, if you want more tips on how to live happy and peaceful as a
non-drinker be sure to listen to the podcast. Here’s the link.
Chat with you next time.
Testimonial: Achieving Multiple Goals with Dr Nikki and Hypnosis
After leaving the USMC after Operation Desert Storm, I had a lot of concentration and focus issues. I could not remain focus (sic) on certain goals. I would start projects and never finish them. I started seeing Dr. Nikki in 1998 on various issues that stemmed from my failures. From 1998 to 2010, I have several sessions with her. Listed below are some of the issues.
• Relationships with Women
• Continuing with education
• Working out consistently
In reference to my issues with women, I was able to see the value of what I brought to the relationship in terms of my emotions and the ability to communicate with my significant other. With her help, I was able to move forward with my current girlfriend at that time. Look beyond the residual effects of the baggage of my past relationships. I ended up marrying my significant other and I have been happily married for last 9 years.
Also, my issue with continuing with my education, my goal was to obtain an MBA. I had enrolled in courses but would always drop them due to focus and time management issues. After seeing Dr. Nikki, she helped me remain focus and make my goal a priority. I was able to graduate from the MBA program in two years at the top of my class.
Lastly, with the issues I had with my weight. I was 20 lbs over weight and my medical doctor was instructing me to lose the weight due to my heart issues. I have worked out consistently through the years but I would lose the weight but I would quickly gain the weight back. I lacked the discipline with my routine and eating habits. With the help of Dr. Nikki, I am now going on 4 years of now of being at my desired weight. I have a weekly gym routine and I am eating correctly.
I recommend Dr Nikki for any long term changes you need to make in your behavior. She has helped me tremendously! If what you’re doing now isn’t working.
Give Dr Nikki a call.
Marlon D. Austria
In any other circumstance, if someone said open wide so I can stick a drill in your mouth, you’d run for the hills. Your fight or flight instinct would kick in and rightfully so. Not surprising, when the dentist is staring down at you, your conscious mind can only override your instinctual fear just so much.
Deep in the brain’s limbic system, (commonly called the ‘animal brain’) human’s have survival instincts in the same way any animal does. It controls survival instincts and primitive emotions such as rage, fear, and pleasure relating to eating and sex. In civilized society, where threats to our physical survival are not as rampant, we use the conscious part of our mind to decide what we should or shouldn’t react to. What happens when conscious mind is at odds with your instinct? You guessed it….Anxiety!
Your conscious mind may tell you it’s important to have the cavity fixed or it will get worse, but your animal brain is a siren shouting, “DANGER, DANGER….AVOID…AVOID”. Now you wouldn’t want your animal brain to fail you when there is real danger, would you?
Be grateful for the fear response. But does this mean you’re doomed to lose your teeth one by one? Or let an untreated infected tooth seep into your bloodstream and threaten your life? If this were to happen, paradoxically, your survival response would be the very thing that caused your death.
Good news. Hypnosis to the rescue!!! Hypnosis is the bridge from your conscious mind to your unconscious mind. In this profoundly relaxed state, messages of safety are sent to the animal brain. The soothing suggestions get your animal brain purring like a content kitty cat.
For more on how hypnosis works, follow this blog.
Signs of Fear
Sweating, clammy hands, faint feeling, dry mouth, nausea, worrisome, fear losing control, restlessness, gagging sensation, feeling of dread, sudden uncontrollable jerking movements and more.
After years of putting off visits to the dentist, a long overdue visit revealed a plethora of cavities that needed to be fixed ASAP. The anxiety of getting dental work done quickly set in and my first round of getting cavities filled was nerve racking and painful. My dentist recommended Dr. Nikki Goldman’s services and I responded with a resounding YES!
Dr. Goldman had me feeling calm and relaxed at my next appointment, so much so, that I almost fell asleep during the procedure. I would absolutely recommend her services.
Spooked by the urge to gobble all the Halloween candy? Want to exorcise the demons? Food is appealing, in part, because we make images in our mind’s eye about how good it looks. We remember how enjoyable it tasted and bring it all back in living color. Remember Pavlov’s dogs?
Want to stop drooling? If you don’t want to be called Rover then stop being a Hoover, (vacuum that is!) Use these tricks and leave the treats for your tiny little ghosts and goblins.
Close your eyes and picture chocolate, (or any candy you crave). Chances are you see a colorful inviting picture. Now make the picture in black and white. Does it change its appeal? Change the perspective even more. Make the picture half the size and push it to the other side of the room. Watch your desire disappear.